Written by Debbie Norred
May 10, 2021
It doesn’t take a mother long to realize that the beautiful expectations she has for her children will not always unfold the way she hoped.
Expectations can quickly become disappointments.
Yet as mothers, we must learn that our calling is not to control our children’s lives, but to faithfully love them, care for them, pray for them, and point them to Jesus—even through the disappointments.
One of the greatest needs our children have is to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.
As mothers, we have a sacred opportunity to influence them spiritually. We spend years feeding them physically, but we must also spend time feeding them spiritually—with God’s Word, prayer, worship, truth, and our example.
I have one son who is now grown and living on his own. There are many things about him that make me a very proud mother.
But he is not perfect.
And yes, at times he disappoints me.
Still, I am thankful for the years God allowed me to invest in his life spiritually—to teach him God’s Word, take him to church, pray over him, and even have the privilege of leading him to Christ when he was eight years old.
As a mother, I am learning that the healthiest thing I can do with my disappointments is to surrender them to God and trust that He is still able to fulfill His purpose in my son’s life.
The Bible tells the story of another mother who surely experienced both great hope and heartbreaking disappointment.
Judges 13–16 tells the story of Samson.
When I read these chapters, I cannot help but think about Samson’s mother and the expectations she must have carried for her son.
The Angel of the Lord appeared to her and announced that she would have a son who would be dedicated to God as a Nazarite from birth. She was told that Samson would begin to rescue Israel from the Philistines.
How honored and excited she must have felt.
How proud she must have been to know her son had a divine calling upon his life.
But she could not have imagined the painful choices Samson would later make.
As the story unfolds, we see Samson become entangled with ungodly relationships, selfish desires, revenge, and rebellion. He pursued women who dishonored God. He slept with prostitutes. He violated things he knew were against God’s commands and often hid his actions from his parents.
He demanded his own way and repeatedly chose what gratified his flesh instead of what honored God.
As I read Samson’s story, I find myself feeling disappointment for his mother.
Perhaps she believed that because Samson was dedicated to God from birth, he would always walk in obedience and integrity.
But despite Samson’s failures, God was still at work.
Judges 14:4 reminds us that even through Samson’s misguided choices, “the Lord was seeking an occasion” against the Philistines.
God was accomplishing His purpose—even through the mess.
Samson’s story ends in tragedy. Blind, broken, and standing between the pillars of a Philistine temple, he prayed one final prayer:
“Let me die with the Philistines.”
(Judges 16:30)
The temple collapsed, and Scripture says Samson killed more Philistines in his death than during his entire lifetime.
Even through disappointment, failure, and pain, God fulfilled His purpose in Samson’s life.
Samson’s story reminds me of another mother who also received an angelic announcement concerning her son.
Mary, the mother of Jesus, was told she would give birth to the Son of the Most High. The angel declared that He would be great and that His kingdom would never end. (Luke 1:29–33)
Can you imagine the expectations Mary must have carried in her heart?
Yet she too watched her son suffer a cruel and brutal death.
She stood near the cross and watched Jesus die.
But unlike Samson, Jesus was without sin.
And unlike Samson’s death, Jesus’ death became the perfect sacrifice for the sins of the world.
What appeared to be devastating loss was actually the fulfillment of God’s eternal purpose.
These stories remind me that even godly mothers experience disappointment, confusion, heartbreak, and unanswered questions concerning their children.
Yet God’s purposes are never hindered by human weakness.
As mothers, we must trust that God is able to work even through painful circumstances, disappointing choices, delays, failures, and broken places in our children’s lives.
What we cannot see, God still sees.
What we cannot fix, God is still able to redeem.
And what disappoints us does not cancel God’s purpose.
Prayer
Dear God,
Thank You that we can approach Your throne of grace with confidence and find mercy and help in our time of need.
As mothers, we often carry beautiful hopes and expectations for our children. Yet sometimes their choices bring disappointment, sorrow, and fear.
Today we surrender those disappointments to You.
Help us trust that You are still at work in their lives, even when we cannot understand what You are doing.
Thank You that Your purposes are greater than our expectations and stronger than our fears.
Teach us to pray faithfully, love unconditionally, and trust You completely.
Just as You fulfilled Your purposes through the lives of Samson and Jesus, we ask You to fulfill Your good purposes in our children’s lives as well.
Give us peace while we wait, wisdom while we pray, and hope while You work.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
